Published Monday, March 15, 2004
WARY, CHARY KERRY
By David Meadow
APPIAN STAFF WRITER

He’s a wary, chary Kerry whose predicament is hairy;
Should he shuffle leftward, scuffle rightward? How to gain the flair he
Needs to beat the smirking fratboy whose financial edge is scary?
It is clear he mustn’t tarry, must this dead-on centrist Kerry.
Like a weathervane that shows the flow of currents in the air, he
Has a wetted finger in the wind, to find what polls declare he
Must be harder on our King, or tough on war, or laissez-fairy.
Will he win or lose more votes by saying gays should never marry?
How to package his conflicting record on the military?
Though he served in ’Nam with honor, gaining several medals there, he
Crushed them underfoot in protest, as the fabled Brothers Perry
Spun within their naval graves and cried, “The gall of him! How dare he!”

It’s a time when we are very eager for a visionary –
Well, we have some visionary minds, but, Holy Mother Mary!
It’s their vision to prepare eternal empire, and cherry-
Pick each CEO behemoth to play God’s own emissary,
Every other country in the world his abject tributary.
And the wary John F. Kerry calls to mind Greek statuary
More than JFK, whom I could hear recite the dictionary.
So beware, O chary Kerry; just because the Stooges’ Larry
Is the figurehead you’re up against, don’t think that you can parry
All his cronies’ wily blows with any ease. It’s necessary
To present clear themes, and duly shun that verbal dysentery
Of so many hapless Democrats with their vocabulary
That repulses Joe American in Baton Rouge and Gary.

It’s a gripping race for sure, while all the enemies of Kerry,
’ Mongst their other tricks, try hyping that internal-type affair he
Might have had, so’s to disgrace him a la D.C.’s Mayor Barry.
Still, this blue-blood’s height will help him; tall and comfortably spare, he
Shows he’s sipped his share of sherry but has also drunk his dairy.
That’s the best that I can say right now, since I’ve uncovered nary
A contender whom I really like, who also has a prayer he
Can win hearts and minds in the abyss that’s our contemporary
U.S.A. So carry on, my very chary, wary Kerry!

David Meadow is an Ed.M. candidate in the Specialized program.